


I Don't Want To Hurt You

by mythicalowlsociety



Category: Victorious
Genre: Alternate Universe, Babies, Beck and Jade are on brake, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jade has emotional issues, hlahlaeiiqethadncaidf what is this?!, mild swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 02:05:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7599190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythicalowlsociety/pseuds/mythicalowlsociety
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade and Beck are on a break. Beck wants space... And Jade tries to be understanding, she really does, but "understanding" was two weeks ago and Beck hasn't said a word about getting back together. Jade thinks they might be done for good. So Jade is... touchy and emotional to say the least. Lucky a certain red head will be able to lend a shoulder to cry on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Want To Hurt You

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I'm going to apologize for my grammar (it'll be terrible). Also, I've just started re-watching the show and am only on the first season right now so this might fit into some of the actual story arch but this is an alternate universe fic.

_"God dammit!!!_ _"_  was all Jade could think as she rushed from the table by the parking lot into an all too familiar janitors' closest. What was up with her and this place? Surely the bathroom was closer, but none the less here she was. Outraged, Jade couldn't help herself but grab a pair of scissors and what appeared to be an empty canister of soap and stab the hollow container repeatedly.  _"Stupid Tori and Robbie. Always in the way. Always messing things up. Always so **irritating.** "  _Stabbing the container did little to help Jade's fury and soon it was completely in shreds so she dropped on her hands and knees to puncture a discarded piece of cardboard. 

Suddenly there was a soft knock on the door. 

 _"Beck..."_ Jade thought hopefully. 

Cat opened the door and gingerly entered.  _"Course, only Cat would knock on the freakin' door to the janitor's closest."_ Jade resisted the urge to roll her eyes as realization washed over her. Beck and her weren't together anymore. There was a moment of sadness and disappointment over the steady rage Jade felt. But the disappointment didn't last long, after all Jade liked Cat's company more than she would admit, and it was better Cat than anyone really. Beck would be pissed at her for snapping at their friends. Everyone else would say something nails-on-a-chalk-board painful that would be equally as annoying as insincere. 

"Hey," Cat said slowly as she crouched down beside her punk friend.

"Hmmph," was all Jade could manage looking down at the blunt instrument in her hand.

"Here," Cat gives Jade a pink tissue. Jade hadn't even noticed she was crying. "You okay?"

"I'm **fine**." the brunet snapped. There's a pause.

"You shouldn't have said those things Jay," _Jay_ , Cat's little nick-name for her when they were alone. Cat puts a hand on taller girl's arm. "Tori and Robbie are really upset. They're talking about making you see the guidance counselor, you should apologize... in the very least so you won't get in trouble."

"Why the hell should you care?!" Jade sneers dabbing her eyes quickly with the disposable hankie. "Just leave me alone!"

Cat just shakes her head. "Why do you do this, Jay? Let me in. Tell me what you're feeling, I know you're hurting but you don't have to do this alone."

Jade clutches the pink tissue subconsciously. Cat didn't get it. She couldn't. Jade ruins everything she touches; she is too screwed up and over time Cat would come to see that too. Everybody did and eventually everyone gave up on her. Her parents, the teachers, Beck. Cat was too good, too kind, too sweet for any closer relationship than what they already had to last long. Jade can just see herself flying off the handle at Cat, making her cry, hurting the naive red head beyond repair. No, it was better to leave everyone out of her head. Make them believe she didn't care about them and make it so they didn't care about her. Nobody got broken that way. 

"Jay? Talk to me!" Cat pleads gently wrapping an arm around her friend. 

This is the part where Jade should shove Cat off her, say something she doesn't mean, and storm out leaving the smaller girl in the closet. But there is something about Cat that makes it so hard for Jade to do that. So much more painful than if it was one of her friends or even Beck. Cat's affectionate touches were something Jade was beginning to crave, nobody had given her any physical contact since Beck and it felt so good. Jade wants to wrap her arms around Cat's small frame and just cry for a while, and she knows,  **god**  she knows, all too well that Valentine would have no objections to that. It feels like being excepted and cared for. A feeling that seemed alien most days to Jade. Cat's the kind of girl who hugs everyone but is always 110% pure in her support for her friends.

And there's something inside Jade that just shatters as if wall that had been keeping her emotions at bay just got bulldozed. Jade's suddenly not responsible for her actions and she's practically in Cat's lap as she drops the scissors and raps her arms around the small girl's frame. Cat rubs gentle circles into the goth girl's back and coos some sweet words into her ear. Jade honestly doesn't listen to anything that Valentine is saying to her but instead allows herself to sob into the other girl's pink sweat shirt. 

"Is this about Beck?" Cat asks cautiously. 

Jade just shakes her head, which comes off as more of a nuzzle into the crook of Cat's neck. "I just-"

_Don't say a damn word. You already cried for fuck sakes! Don't make it any worse._

"I can't let people in my head, Cat. It's too dark... I'll hurt everyone. I hurt Beck all the time. I hurt him and now he's gone and never coming back and I'm all alone. I couldn't seem to do one nice thing for him and he deserves somebody who isn't so damaged. I just- I get these thoughts in my head that are so depressing... and I feel like if I lean on anyone-"

"You won't be able to catch yourself if they move?"  Cat supplies pulling away to brush away some of her friend's tears. 

"God I'm such a mess," Jade blubbers carefully restraining herself from rubbing her cheek into the pair of hands that cradle her face. "You should leave." It was supposed to come out threatening but Jade says it almost like a whisper. 

"Jay, I'm not going anywhere." Cat said bringing their foreheads together and sliding a hand to brush away some stray brown hair. 

"I don't want to hurt you." Jade warns.

"I trust you." 

 _You shouldn't._  Jade needs to escape. This is getting to close. This warm feeling crushing in her chest, a sort of emotion that Jade hasn't felt in forever. It's painful. It's addictive. It's beyond dangerous. 

" _Cat._ " Jade urges. 

" _Jade_." Cat returns calmly. "I love you way to much to leave you here like this." 

 _ **Love.**_  The word echos and bounces in Jade's skull like a ping-pong ball. Suddenly her eyes are on Cat's lips, it would be so easy for them to connect. What would her lips taste like?... Jade would put her money on strawberry. The thought is so tantalizing and Jade flushes at how close her face is to her friend's. She should move away but instead the punk girl just closes her eyes and relishes in the thought of what it would feel like to kiss Cat. Or what it would be like to hold hands with her down the hallways of Hollywood Arts, going on stereotypical dates, cuddling on Jade's bed. 

So Jade takes a breath to savor the moment before abruptly standing up. She puts the scissors back where she found them and the pierced objects in the recycle bin before turning toward the door. 

"Where are you going?" Cat asks as she rises to her feet. 

Jade swipes at the last few tears. A soft smile at her lips. "I got a few apologies to make." 

 

 

 

 


End file.
